About

Boyo & I

Let me confess up front that I make no claims to have “cracked” motherhood, or single parenting, or indeed anything except perhaps navigating my way from one end of a day to another with the reasonable expectation of a smile or two along the way.

My best friend recently described me as wearing the world’s biggest rose-coloured glasses. Interestingly, I think she was being mildly critical. I’ve chosen to file it as a compliment, and you may use it as a clue to what you may expect to hear or read if you plan on hanging out with me.

Becoming a parent was the biggest, best, scariest, most enlightening and most frustrating thing I have ever done. It was a conscious choice, made with the man I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life. I was wrong – but only about the man.

Being mother to the boyo has changed everything about my life. I have to chuckle when I hear people who say “I’m not going to let having a baby change me!” – who says you have a choice? Everything -  my hormones, daily routines, responses to world events, relationships with my partner, my parents and everyone else I encounter – changed when I had a child. And then I became a single mama and, suddenly, everything changed again.

Certainties slip away, and once again I am faced with a blank page on which to write the future of my life. Scarily, this time I hold the happiness and well-being of my boy in my care as well, so the choices I make now affect both of us. Most days, with my rose-coloured glasses squarely on my face, I am happy with how we navigate the day. Some days, I doubt my ability to make the right choices. Some days, I’m not sure I’m ready to be the grown-up. Some days, if I get asked one more time to  “play with me”, I think my head will explode.

This is me, the parent.

Navel-gazing and introspection has been part of my make-up since my own childhood (though I’m one of those gregarious, sociable introverts). Nothing like a separation and divorce in my early forties to encourage a serious examination of what pops my rocks. I’m what I would describe as a “closet creative”; a childhood spent drawing, writing, creating, was swept aside in favour of earning “a living” and all those juicy creative forces were shunted into more prosaic uses.

I’ve had a very bad case of Someday Syndrome for a very long time. Someday, I’ll write that book, submit those articles and poems, get a better camera and “do something” with those images…

This year, I’ve spent a lot of time looking at those old dreams and re-shaping them in the light of the person I am now. I begin university in 2010, doing a BA with a double major in Writing and Media. I am learning about writing web content,  SEO techniques,  niche marketing and affiliate marketing. I am entering the new year with a vision, but better than that, with a written plan and a set of fixed attainable goals (as well as some really out-there, shoot-for-the-stars ones, to keep me challenged and engaged).

This is me, the woman.

This blog is about my journey to become that elusive creature, the Successful Single Mama, whatever she may be, and it’s a journey I’ll willingly share. Being the best mama I can be for the boyo is a work in progress – I have let him and myself down more times than I want to contemplate right now, but I am ever hopeful that, together, we will make it out of his childhood with most of our sanity intact. I have set my sights on the freelance lifestyle, as the best way to integrate my creative goals with the reality of my life as a solo parent. I’ve come across some truly wonderful resources – blogs, books and so on – that I have been exploring and learning from in the last few months, on a range of subjects; parenting, blogging, freelancing, web entrepreneurship, community-building and so on. Some of them I’d like to share with you, and if you think they look exciting and juicy too, be aware that I may be earning a portion of your purchase as affiliate income.

Here’s to my journey to success, and to yours. Here’s to the future of our children, to the beautiful, compassionate, vibrant, engaged human beings we know they are destined to be…the ultimate definition of success for the Successful Single Mama.